It has been a successful 2007-2008 school year!  The staff in the counselor’s office is busy preparing for next year.  Most of our students are enrolled for the next school year, and will be receiving their schedules over the summer break.  Please remember that the schedule your student receives this summer is not his/her final schedule!  With new students enrolling and classes filling up, sometimes we must move students into a different hour of class.  The students will receive their final schedules in August on the first day of school.  If you plan to move over the summer, please give us your new address so we can make sure you receive the information we send out during the summer.  If you are not attending the Goddard district next year, contact the counselor’s office so we may forward your child’s school records.

Some parents will be receiving summer school recommendations in the mail.  Summer school recommendations are based on your child’s performance in required classes, as well as how well he/she performed on the Kansas State Assessments.  Please contact your child’s team of teachers during team time if you have questions about the recommendations.  This summer we will offer math and English; the classes will be taught at Goddard High School.  You will be receiving a summer school enrollment form in the mail along with the recommendations.  This enrollment form is also included on page 18 of this newsletter.

When you receive your child’s schedule for next year, you may notice that your child is now enrolled in a math or reading lab.  These lab recommendations are based on performance in the classroom and on the Kansas State Assessments.  The “No Child Left Behind” initiative requires that all students score in the “meets standards” or above category in math and reading.  If your child scored below the "meets standards" level, we will recommend that he/she enrolls in the appropriate lab.  This will help your child grasp the concepts necessary for him/her to be successful in middle school, high school, and beyond.

If you have questions about your child’s schedule or other questions, please contact us at 794-4249.  We will be at RGMS until the end of May and return the last week in July.  Have an enjoyable, relaxing summer!

Request to Administer Medication at School
Permission For Self Administering of Medication

Some students will receive notification by mail that an immunization for a tetanus booster is due sometime during the summer months.  It is suggested that this immunization be received during the summer to avoid disruption during the school year.  This immunization update is required because of school regulations at the next school that your student will attend during the 2008-2009 academic year. 

Please send confirmation of the date of vaccination to nurse Debbie at Robert Goddard Middle School.  Your doctor can fax this information to 794-4254, or your student can hand carry this documentation to school.  If received during the summer, eighth graders will need to send this confirmation to the high school to the attention of GHS nurse Sondra Ashens.  Her fax number is:  794-4130.

School physicals are also needed for participation in next year's school activities; visits must be scheduled after May 1, 2008 to be valid for the 2008-2009 school year.  It would be very convenient to schedule these two visits together, if they are both applicable for your student!

Have a safe and fun summer.  Remember to protect your skin while in the sun!

It’s hard to understand the world of early adolescents without considering the huge impact on their lives of the mass media. It competes with families, friends, schools and communities in its ability to shape young teens’ interests, attitudes and values.

The mass media infiltrates their lives. Most young adolescents watch TV and movies, surf the Internet, exchange e-mails, listen to CDs and to radio stations that target them with music and commercials and read articles and ads in teen magazines. 

First, look on the bright side. The new media technologies can be fun and exciting. Used wisely, they can also educate. Good TV programs can inform, good music can comfort and good movies can expand interests and unlock mysteries. Additionally, many forms of media are being used in classrooms today - computers, cable-equipped TVs and VCRs are all part of the landscape. Indeed, recent years have seen a commitment to connecting every classroom to the Internet and providing a reasonable number of computers to each classroom for student use. As a result, children need to be exposed to media, if only to learn how to use it.

The problem is that young adolescents often don’t—or can’t—distinguish between what’s good in the media and what’s bad. Some spend hours in front of the TV or plugged into earphones, passively taking in what they see and hear—violence, sex, profanities, gender, stereotyping and story lines and characters that are unrealistic. We know from research such as that conducted by George Comstock and Erica Sherrar that seeing too much TV violence appears to increase aggressive behavior in children and that regular viewing of violence makes violence less shocking and more acceptable. 

Students who report watching the most TV have lower grades and lower test scores than do those who watch less TV. “In any classroom discussion I have, it is very apparent who’s watching [a lot of] television and who’s not,” explains teacher Sherry Tipps. “For the kids who are not motivated in the classroom, mention TV and suddenly they perk up.”

As young teens mature, high levels of TV-viewing, video-game playing and computer use take their toll. On average, American children spend far more time with the media than they do completing work for school. Seventh graders, for example, spend an average of 135 minutes each day watching TV and 57 minutes doing schoolwork. 

Add to these negative psychological and academic effects, negative physical effects. Recent reports by the U.S. Surgeon General show that the number of overweight teens in American has increased greatly over the past two decades. Being overweight, in turn, can contribute to serious health problems, such as diabetes. 

Negative influences also come from other media. For example, a growing number of ads in magazines, including some for harmful products such as alcohol and tobacco, are targeted at young adolescents. 
Your child will benefit from your guidance in helping him to balance media-related activities with other activities such as reading, talking with family and spending time with friends. Here are some ways that you can help your child make good media choices:

• Limit the amount of time your child spends viewing TV. It’s impossible to protect your child entirely from the media. Banning TV entirely may only strengthen its appeal to her. However, some parents do make TV viewing off-limits during the school week, except for special programs that are agreed to ahead of time.
• Remember, it’s easier to restrict your child’s poor media choices if you say no before she brings home the objectionable CDs or computer games or turns on the violent TV programs. Let your child know that you will monitor her media choices. 
• Monitor what your child watches and listens to. Former principal Carole Kennedy advises, “Don’t just listen to how loud the music is, but to what the words are.” Learn about the TV programs and movies that your child wants to watch, the computer games he wants to play and the music he wants to listen to. Knowing something about your child’s interests will let you enter into his world and talk with more knowledge and force about his choices. Ask your young teen what bands or singers he likes. Then read about his favorites in magazines or newspapers or listen to their CDs or to the radio stations that play their music.
• You can also watch or listen with your child. This allows you to spend time with him and to learn more about the programs, games and music that he likes. Talk with your child about what you are seeing and hearing. 
• Suggest TV programs that you want your child to watch. Encourage your child to watch TV programs about a variety of subjects—nature, travel, history, science, biography and news, as well as programs that entertain. News and history programs, for example, can encourage conversations about world issues, national and local politics, social problems and health concerns. 
• Talk with your child about the difference between facts and points of view. Young teens need to learn that not everything they hear or see is true. Let your child know that the TV show or movie he sees, the radio station or music he listens to and the magazine he reads may have a definite point of view. Talk with him about how the media can promote certain ideas or beliefs, which may different from those of your family. If your child wants to watch, listen to or read something that you believe is inappropriate, let him know exactly why you object.
• Talk with your child about misleading ads. Young adolescents are especially vulnerable to advertising. Talk with your child about what ads are for—to sell products—and about how to judge whether the products the ads sell are right for her. If, for example, your daughter has short, blond, curly hair, ask her if she really thinks the shampoo that she wants you to spend $15 for will make her hair look like the long, black, straight hair on the model in the magazine ad.
• Consider buying a V-chip for your TV or a filter for your computer. A V-chip is a computer chip that can detect program ratings—X, R, PG and so on and so block your child from watching pornographic, violent or other inappropriate TV channels. Similar chips or filters can prevent your child from visiting certain Web sites. Many of these can be obtained for free or for modest costs at your local electronics store.
• Talk with your child about the risks of visiting computer chat rooms. Let your child know the dangers of “talking” on-line with strangers. There is software that can restrict children from chat rooms, even as they allow access to other content.
• Talk with other parents. Discussing movies, TV shows, computer games and CDs with the parents of your child’s friends and classmates can give you more strength to say no when she wants to see or hear something that think is inappropriate. You also can quickly find out that not everyone in the seventh grade is going to be allowed to see the latest R-rated movie in which bloody bodies are strewn across the screen. 
• Provide alternatives to media entertainment. According to teacher Bill Gangl, “If you give the kids enough activities, the TV goes away.” Given the opportunity, many children would rather do than watch. A day at a miniature golf course or a visit with a friend may hold more appeal for your child than watching TV. 
• Model alternative forms of entertainment. A young teen whose parent is constantly in front of the TV or checking her e-mail over a quick dinner is being sent a definite message. Parents who turn off the TV or computer and engage in conversation, sports, games or other activities are showing alternatives to their children. An adolescent today may well wonder “what did you do before TV (or computers or video games)?” Show them!

Friendships can affect many areas of young adolescents’ lives—grades, how they spend their time, what clubs they join and how they behave in public places, such as a shopping mall. Youngsters who have trouble forming friendships are more likely to have poor self-esteem, do poorly in school, drop out, get involved in delinquent behavior and suffer from a range of psychological problems as adults.
Children of all ages need to feel that they fit in—that they belong. As children approach the teen years, the need to be “one of the gang” is stronger than at any other age. Friendships become closer and more important and play a key part in allowing young adolescents to sort out who they are and where they’re headed. They are likely to form small groups or cliques, each with a special identity (for example, jocks, brains, preppies or geeks).

Many parents worry that their children’s friends will become so influential in their lives that their own roles will diminish. Parents worry still more that their children’s friends will encourage them to take part in harmful activities.

Studies by psychologist Thomas Berndt and his colleagues have shown that friends do influence one another’s attitudes and behavior and that, over time, friends become more and more similar in their attitudes and behavior. For example, adolescents whose friends described themselves as more disruptive in school increased in disruption themselves over the school year. 

The peak period for peer influence is generally from seventh to ninth grades. During this time, friends often influence taste in music, clothes or hairstyles, as well as the activities in which youngsters choose to participate. However, peers do not replace parents. You are still the most important influence in your child’s life. Young teens are more inclined to turn to their parents than to peers for guidance in deciding what post-high-school plans to make, what career to select and what religious and moral values to choose. This influence is greatest when the bond between parent and child is strong.

Here are some tips to guide you in helping your child to form good friendships:

• Recognize that peer pressure can be bad or good. Most young teens are drawn to friends who are similar to them. If your child chooses friends who are not interested in school and who make poor grades, he may be less willing to study or complete assignments. If he chooses friends who like school and do well in their studies, however, his motivation to get good grades may be strengthened. Friends who avoid alcohol and drugs also will exert a positive influence on your child.
• Get to know your child’s friends. A good way to learn about your child’s friends is to drive them to events—talking with them in the car can reveal a lot. You can also welcome your child’s friends into your home. Make it a place with food and a comfortable atmosphere. Having your child’s friends at your home can provide you with peace of mind and allow you to set the rules of conduct, as well as help you to gain a better understanding of what they talk about and what their concerns are. 
• Get to know the parents of your child’s friends. You don’t have to be best buddies, but it helps to know if other parents’ attitudes and approaches to parenting are similar to yours. Former principal Carole Kennedy explains, “The kid may seem okay, but you need to know if someone is around at the other house to supervise.” Knowing the other parent makes it easier to learn what you need to know: where your child is going, who she’s going with, what time the activity starts and ends, whether an adult will be present and how your child will get to and from the activity.
• Provide your child with some unstructured time in a safe place to hang around with friends. Activities are important, but too many piano lessons or basketball practices can lead to burnout. Allowing your child some unstructured time with friends in a safe place with adult supervision lets him share ideas and develop important social skills. For example, among friends your child can learn that good friends are good listeners, that they are helpful and confident (but not overly so), that they are enthusiastic, possess a sense of humor and that they respect others. Spending time with others may also help your child to change some behaviors that make others uncomfortable around him: being too serious or unenthusiastic, critical of others or too stubborn.
• Talk with your child about friends, about friendship and about making choices. It’s normal for adolescents to care about what others think of them. This makes it especially important for you to talk with your youngster about resisting the pressure to disobey the rules or go against the standards and values that she has been taught. You can talk with her about how to be a good friend and about how all friendships have their ups and downs. You can also talk about the importance of making good choices when she is with friends. “I always tell them, ‘If it feels wrong, it probably is,’” explains teacher Barbara Braithwaite. Teacher Charles Summers tells his middle school students and his own children, “You need to look at who you are when you are with this person.” He also suggests that they ask themselves this question: “How do you want to be described by others?” Children’s responses can guide their behavior.
• Teach your child how to get out of a bad situation. Talk with your child about dangerous or inappropriate situations that might arise and about possible ways to handle them. Ask your 14-year-old daughter what she would do if a guest arrived at a slumber party with a bottle of wine in her overnight bag. Ask your 12-year-old son how he would handle a suggestion from a friend to cut school and head for a nearby burger place.

Ideally, youngsters themselves can be the ones to say “no” to a potentially dangerous or destructive situation. But if they haven’t yet learned this skill, parent Marianne Cavanaugh from Connecticut suggests an alternative: “Sometimes kids don’t want to do what their peers want them to do. I tell my kids to blame me—to tell their friends that their Mom says ‘no.’ This helps get them off the hook.” Finally, no child going out for an evening should be without change for a phone call. As a last resort, this may be his lifeline. A cell phone may also be appropriate if family finances allow one and if the child knows how to use the phone responsibly. 
• Monitor friendships to help your child avoid risky and unhealthy behavior. Young adolescents need supervision, including during the important after-school hours. Keep tabs on who your child’s friends are and what they do when they get together. Bill Gangl, a middle school teacher in Minnesota, suggests, “Don’t be afraid to be the jerk who makes the phone call to the other house to make sure that (your child) is there. And don’t be afraid to say no.” 

Many middle school teachers and parents have different opinions as to whether parents can or should try to stop their children from seeing a friend that the parents dislike. Some youngsters will rebel if told they can’t spend time with certain friends. Many adults who have worked with young teens suggest that you let your child know that you disapprove of a friendship and why you disapprove. They also suggest that you limit the amount of time and the activities that you will allow with the friend.
• Model good friendships. The example of friendship you provide has a bigger impact on your child’s friendships than any lecture. Children who see their parents treat each other and their friends with kindness and respect have an advantage. Baking cookies for the new neighbor or offering a listening ear for an unhappy friend sends your child a powerful message.

Young teens often feel inadequate. They have new bodies and developing minds and their relationships with friends and family members are in flux. They understand for the first time that they aren’t good at everything. The changes in their lives may take place more rapidly than their ability to adjust to them.
Poor self-esteem often peaks in early adolescence, then improves during the middle and late teen years as identities gain strength and focus. At any age, however, a lack of confidence can be a serious problem. Young teens with poor self-esteem can be lonely, awkward with others and sensitive to criticism and with what they see as their shortcomings. Young teens with low confidence are less likely to join in activities and form friendships. This isolates them further and slows their ability to develop a better self-image. When they do make friends, they are more vulnerable to negative peer pressure. 

Some young adolescents who lack confidence hold back in class. Others act out to gain attention. At its worst, a lack of confidence is often linked with self-destructive behavior and habits—smoking or drug or alcohol use, for example.

• Girls often experience deeper self-doubts than do boys (although there are many exceptions). This can be for many reasons:
• Society sends girls the message that it is important for them to get along with others and to be very, very thin and pretty. Life can be just as hard, however, for a boy who thinks he has to meet society’s expectations that boys have to be good at sports and other physical activities.
• Girls mature physically about two years earlier than do boys, which require girls to deal with  issues of how they look,  popularity and  sexuality  before they are emotionally  mature  enough to do so.
• Girls may receive confusing messages about the importance of achievement. Although girls are told that achievement is important, some also fear that they won’t be liked, especially by boys, if they come across as too smart or too capable, especially in the areas of math, science and technology.

Most psychologists now believe that self-esteem and self-confidence represent a range of feelings that a child has about himself in many different situations. Psychologist Susan Harter has developed a theory of self-esteem that considers both a child’s sense of confidence in an area of activity and how important that area is to the child. For example, adolescents may think about a number of situations: competing on the track team, studying math, dating, taking care of younger brothers or sisters and so on. An adolescent is likely to feel more confident doing some of these things than others. She may feel very good about her athletic ability and skill at math, but feel bad about her dating life. She may also have mixed feelings about how good a sister she is to her baby brother. How good this teenager feels about herself ties to how important each of these area is to her. If having a very active dating life is the most important area of her life, this girl will feel bad about herself. If being a scholar-athlete is most important area, then she will feel very good about herself.  Based on this theory, the best ways to help your child to develop confidence include the following:

• Provide opportunities for your child to succeed. As teacher Diane Crim points out, “The best way to instill confidence in someone is to give them successful experiences. You need to set them up to succeed—give them experiences where they can see how powerful they are. Kids can engineer those experiences. Part of confidence is knowing what to do when you don’t know what to do.” Help your child to build confidence in his abilities by encouraging him to take an art class, act in a play, join a soccer or baseball team, participate in science fairs or computer clubs or play a musical instrument—whatever he likes to do that brings out the best in him. Don’t push a particular activity on your child. Most children, whether they are 3 or 13 years old, resist efforts to get them to do things that they don’t enjoy. Pushing children to participate in activities they haven’t chosen for themselves can lead to frustration. Try to balance your child’s experiences between activities that he is already good at doing with new activities or with activities that he is not so good at doing. You can also help your child to build confidence by assigning him family responsibilities at which he can succeed—unloading the dishwasher, cleaning his room or mowing the lawn.
• Help young teens feel safe and trust in themselves. The ability of adolescents to trust in themselves comes from receiving unconditional love that helps them to feel safe and to develop the ability to solve their own problems. Your child, like all children, will encounter situations that require her to lean on you and others. But always relying on you to bail her out of tough situations can stunt her emotional growth. “We have to teach our children how to cope with the things they encounter, instead of easing the path,” says teacher Anne Jolly.
• Praise and encourage. Praise is meaningful to adolescents when it comes from those they love and count on most—their parents and other important adults in their lives. Praising your child will help her to gain confidence. However, the compliments that you give her must be genuine. She will recognize when they are not. 
• Have patience. As adults, most people have confidence. This confidence comes about through years of experiencing success, but also through years of exploring strengths and weakness and choosing to stress different parts of our lives. Most of us would be unhappy if we had to do only those things that we are not good at. As adults, we tend to find our areas of strength and - to the extent we can – to pursue these areas more than others. For an adolescent, however, it is difficult to downplay the areas in which they are less confident. For example, it is very hard for an adolescent with academic skills to focus on school rather than on dating, when all of her friends are dating and telling her how important dating is. For a parent this can lead to feelings of helplessness. You know that whether that cute new boy asked out your daughter will have little consequence on her life for the long run, but you also know that she cannot yet see this!

As children enter adolescence, they often beg for more freedom. Parents walk a tightrope between wanting their children to be confident and able to do things for themselves and knowing that the world can be a scary place with threats to their children’s health and safety.

Some parents allow too much of the wrong kind of freedom or they offer freedom before the adolescent is ready to accept it. Other parents cling too tightly, denying young teens both the responsibilities they require to develop maturity and the opportunities they need to make choices and accept their consequences.

Research tells us that adolescents do best when they remain closely connected to their parents but at the same time are allowed to have their own points of view and even to disagree with their parents. Here are some tips to help balance closeness and independence:

• Set limits. All children sometimes resist limits, but they want them and they need them. In a world that can seem too hectic for adults and adolescents alike, limits provide a security. Oftentimes, adolescents whose parents do not set limits feel unloved. Setting limits is most effective when it begins early. It is harder but not impossible, however, to establish limits during early adolescence.
• Be clear. Most young teens respond best to specific instructions, which are repeated regularly. As middle school teacher Sharon Sikora notes, “Don’t just say, ‘I want your room clean,’ because they don’t know what that means. Say, in a non-argumentative way, ‘This is how I perceive a clean room.’ They may say, ‘I don’t really want the lamp over here, I want it over there.’ Give them the freedom to express themselves.”
• Give reasonable choices. Choices make young teens more open to guidance. For example, you can tell your son that his algebra homework must be done before bedtime, but that he has a choice of completing it either before or after supper. And you can tell your 14-year-old daughter that she can’t hang around the video arcade with her friends on Saturday night, but she can have a group of friends over to your house to watch a movie. Using humor and creativity as you give choices may also make your child more willing to accept them. One middle school teacher couldn’t get her own child to hang up clean clothes or put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. So she gave her daughter two options—either all the clothes had to be picked up or everything would go on the floor. “I was washing the clothes, then putting them in piles on the floor,” the teacher recalls. “It made me crazy, but it worked.” After two weeks, her daughter got tired of the stacks on the floor and she began picking up her clothes. 
• Grant independence in stages. The more mature and responsible a young teen’s behavior is, the more privileges parents can grant. You might first give your young teen the right to choose which sneakers to buy within a certain price range. Later you can let him make other clothing purchases—with the understanding that price tags won’t be removed until you approve the items. Eventually, you can give him a clothing allowance to spend as he likes.
• Health and safety come first. Your most important responsibility as a parent is to protect your child’s health and safety. Your child needs to know that your love for her requires you to veto activities and choices that threaten either of these. Let your child know what things threaten her health and safety—and often the health and safety of others—and put your foot down. Doing this is made more difficult, though, because adolescents have a sense that nothing can hurt them. At the same time that he feels that everything he experiences is new and unique, an adolescent also believes that what happens to others will not happen to him. His beliefs are based on the fact that adolescence is the healthiest period of time during our lives. In this period, physical illnesses are not common and fatal disease is rare. The important thing to emphasize to your child is that, while he may be very healthy, death and injury during adolescence are most often caused by violence and accidents.
• Say no to choices that cut off future options. Some things aren’t worth fighting about. It may offend you if your son wears a shirt to school that clashes wildly with his pants, but this isn’t a choice that can cut off future possibilities for him. Young teens may have a growing sense of the future, but they still lack the experiences required to fully understand how a decision they make today can affect them tomorrow. They may have heard that smoking is unhealthy, but they do not fully understand what it means to die of lung cancer at the age of 45. Talk to your children about the lifelong consequences of choices they make. Help them understand there are good and bad decisions and that knowing one from the other can make all the difference in their lives. Let your child know that you are “the keeper of options” until he is old enough and responsible enough to assume this responsibility: He may not skip school and he may not avoid taking tough courses that will prepare him for college.
• Guide, but resist the temptation to control. Young teens need opportunities to explore different roles, try on new personalities and experiment. They need to learn that choices have consequences. That means making some mistakes and accepting the results. But parents need to provide guidance so that young teens avoid making too many poor choices.You can guide by being a good listener and by asking questions that help your child to think about the results of her actions: “What could happen if you let someone who is drunk drive you home?” Your guidance may be better appreciated if you ask your child’s advice on a range of matters and follow the advice if it seems reasonable: “What should we cook for Daddy’s birthday?” “I don’t have to work on Saturday. Is there anything special you’d like to do?”

The fine line between guiding and controlling may be different for different children. Some children, whether they are 7 or 17, need firmer guidance and fewer privileges than do other children at the same age. One middle school teacher explains how the different behavior of her own two teens created a need for different limits: “My daughter understood a midnight curfew to mean that she either had to be in the house with the door locked by 12 or else she must have placed the call from the emergency room informing her parents that she had broken her leg. My son, who was 15 months younger, understood a midnight curfew to mean that he could call at 11:59 p.m. to inform his parents that he’d be home after the pizza he’d ordered with his buddies had arrived and been consumed and he’d driven home his six friends.”
• Let kids make mistakes. We want our children to grow into adults who can solve problems and make good choices. These abilities are a critical part of being independent. To develop these abilities, however, young teens on occasion may need to fail, provided the stakes aren’t too high and no one’s health or safety is at risk. Making mistakes also allows young teens to learn one critical skill—how to bounce back. It’s hard for a child to learn how to pick himself up and start over if his parents always rescue him from difficulties.
• Make actions have consequences. If you tell your child that she must be home by 10 p.m., do not ignore her midnight arrival. You lose credibility with your child if she suffers no consequences for returning home two hours late. However, the punishment should fit the crime. Grounding a child for six weeks restricts the entire family. Instead, you might talk with your child about how coming in two hours late has affected you. You’ve been up worrying and have missed your sleep. But you’ll still have to get up the next morning at your regular time, make breakfast, do your chores and go to work. Because her lack of consideration has made your life harder, she will have to complete some of your chores so that you can get to bed earlier the next night.

Parents need to talk to their children and make it clear that many of the major threats to their future health and happiness are not a matter of chance, but are a matter of choice – choices like drinking and driving, smoking, drugs, sexual activity, and dropping out of school.

Research tells us that adolescents who engage in one risky behavior are more likely to participate in others, so parents need to be front and center, talking to their children about the potentially deadly consequences of opening that Pandora’s Box.

During the past 20 years, many changes have taken place in how young adolescents are educated. These changes continue as we learn more about how these children develop and learn. Today, fewer and fewer young adolescents attend junior highs. Instead, a growing number attend middle schools. Most of these schools are for grades 6–8, although some may have grades 5–8, 5–7 or even 7–8. As the middle school movement has accelerated, many high schools have moved from serving grades 10–12 to grades 9–12. 
As a parent, you may wonder, “Is one grade structure better than another for my child?” Most educators believe (and research confirms) that the way a school organizes the grades is not as important as what goes on inside the school. That is, what gets taught and how it gets taught in a school matter more than how the school combines its grades. Furthermore, the grade span of a school doesn’t tell you much about the quality of the school and whether its educational practices are well suited to young adolescent students.

Most young teens entering a new school find that it’s a big change. They’re used to being the oldest; once again they’re the youngest. Many classmates are new, as are the routines and the school work. Coming at a time when young teens are undergoing many other stressful changes, the move to a new school can be overwhelming and have a negative impact on motivation and self-esteem.

Because of this, many middle schools have programs to ease the transition. For example, they might invite elementary school students to visit the middle school to become familiar with the building, lockers and changing classrooms.  Or, administrators of the middle and elementary schools might meet to discuss programs. School counselors might meet to talk about how to help students make a smooth transition. These and other practices can help make the new school seem friendlier.

Hormones may be fluctuating, but young teens of all backgrounds and with a broad range of personal characteristics still absorb vast amounts of information. They also can benefit from a strong curriculum. As young adolescents develop their cognitive skills, they are able to complete longer and more involved projects and to explore subjects in more depth.

Young teens generally benefit from being exposed to a broad range of experiences and programs — academic, recreational and vocational. These opportunities take advantage of their natural curiosity and can be invaluable in familiarizing them with new worlds and possibilities. These exploratory programs can also be fun. For these reasons, some schools provide opportunities both in and out of school for students to participate in sports, as well as in programs to learn subjects that range from foreign languages, to music, to drama, to technology.

Many schools also encourage students to participate in volunteer or community service projects. Exploratory programs can help young teens figure out where they fit in and allow them to think about their future plans.

There’s still plenty of room for improvement in middle schools. Test scores suggest that many young teens lack the skills needed for high school success. On international comparisons they aren’t scoring as well as we would like in areas such as reading and math. 
More educators and policymakers are becoming aware of the high levels to which young teens can achieve. This awareness is leading to still more change in middle-grades education: in what gets taught, how it is taught, how teachers are prepared and how to assess what students know and can do. 

Friendships can affect many areas of young adolescents’ lives—grades, how they spend their time, what clubs they join and how they behave in public places, such as a shopping mall. Youngsters who have trouble forming friendships are more likely to have poor self-esteem, do poorly in school, drop out, get involved in delinquent behavior and suffer from a range of psychological problems as adults.

Children of all ages need to feel that they fit in—that they belong. As children approach the teen years, the need to be “one of the gang” is stronger than at any other age. Friendships become closer and more important and play a key part in allowing young adolescents to sort out who they are and where they’re headed. They are likely to form small groups or cliques, each with a special identity (for example, jocks, brains, preppies or geeks).

Many parents worry that their children’s friends will become so influential in their lives that their own roles will diminish. Parents worry still more that their children’s friends will encourage them to take part in harmful activities.

Studies by psychologist Thomas Berndt and his colleagues have shown that friends do influence one another’s attitudes and behavior and that, over time, friends become more and more similar in their attitudes and behavior. For example, adolescents whose friends described themselves as more disruptive in school increased in disruption themselves over the school year. 

The peak period for peer influence is generally from seventh to ninth grades. During this time, friends often influence taste in music, clothes or hairstyles, as well as the activities in which youngsters choose to participate. However, peers do not replace parents. You are still the most important influence in your child’s life. Young teens are more inclined to turn to their parents than to peers for guidance in deciding what post-high-school plans to make, what career to select and what religious and moral values to choose. This influence is greatest when the bond between parent and child is strong.

Here are some tips to guide you in helping your child to form good friendships:

• Recognize that peer pressure can be bad or good. Most young teens are drawn to friends who are similar to them. If your child chooses friends who are not interested in school and who make poor grades, he may be less willing to study or complete assignments. If he chooses friends who like school and do well in their studies, however, his motivation to get good grades may be strengthened. Friends who avoid alcohol and drugs also will exert a positive influence on your child.
• Get to know your child’s friends. A good way to learn about your child’s friends is to drive them to events—talking with them in the car can reveal a lot. You can also welcome your child’s friends into your home. Make it a place with food and a comfortable atmosphere. Having your child’s friends at your home can provide you with peace of mind and allow you to set the rules of conduct, as well as help you to gain a better understanding of what they talk about and what their concerns are. 
• Get to know the parents of your child’s friends. You don’t have to be best buddies, but it helps to know if other parents’ attitudes and approaches to parenting are similar to yours. Former principal Carole Kennedy explains, “The kid may seem okay, but you need to know if someone is around at the other house to supervise.” Knowing the other parent makes it easier to learn what you need to know: where your child is going, who she’s going with, what time the activity starts and ends, whether an adult will be present and how your child will get to and from the activity.
• Provide your child with some unstructured time in a safe place to hang around with friends. Activities are important, but too many piano lessons or basketball practices can lead to burnout. Allowing your child some unstructured time with friends in a safe place with adult supervision lets him share ideas and develop important social skills. For example, among friends your child can learn that good friends are good listeners, that they are helpful and confident (but not overly so), that they are enthusiastic, possess a sense of humor and that they respect others. Spending time with others may also help your child to change some behaviors that make others uncomfortable around him: being too serious or unenthusiastic, critical of others or too stubborn.
• Talk with your child about friends, about friendship and about making choices. It’s normal for adolescents to care about what others think of them. This makes it especially important for you to talk with your youngster about resisting the pressure to disobey the rules or go against the standards and values that she has been taught. You can talk with her about how to be a good friend and about how all friendships have their ups and downs. You can also talk about the importance of making good choices when she is with friends. “I always tell them, ‘If it feels wrong, it probably is,’” explains teacher Barbara Braithwaite. Teacher Charles Summers tells his middle school students and his own children, “You need to look at who you are when you are with this person.” He also suggests that they ask themselves this question: “How do you want to be described by others?” Children’s responses can guide their behavior.
• Teach your child how to get out of a bad situation. Talk with your child about dangerous or inappropriate situations that might arise and about possible ways to handle them. Ask your 14-year-old daughter what she would do if a guest arrived at a slumber party with a bottle of wine in her overnight bag. Ask your 12-year-old son how he would handle a suggestion from a friend to cut school and head for a nearby burger place.

Ideally, youngsters themselves can be the ones to say “no” to a potentially dangerous or destructive situation. But if they haven’t yet learned this skill, parent Marianne Cavanaugh from Connecticut suggests an alternative: “Sometimes kids don’t want to do what their peers want them to do. I tell my kids to blame me—to tell their friends that their Mom says ‘no.’ This helps get them off the hook.” Finally, no child going out for an evening should be without change for a phone call. As a last resort, this may be his lifeline. A cell phone may also be appropriate if family finances allow one and if the child knows how to use the phone responsibly. 
• Monitor friendships to help your child avoid risky and unhealthy behavior. Young adolescents need supervision, including during the important after-school hours. Keep tabs on who your child’s friends are and what they do when they get together. Bill Gangl, a middle school teacher in Minnesota, suggests, “Don’t be afraid to be the jerk who makes the phone call to the other house to make sure that (your child) is there. And don’t be afraid to say no.” 
• Many middle school teachers and parents have different opinions as to whether parents can or should try to stop their children from seeing a friend that the parents dislike. Some youngsters will rebel if told they can’t spend time with certain friends. Many adults who have worked with young teens suggest that you let your child know that you disapprove of a friendship and why you disapprove. They also suggest that you limit the amount of time and the activities that you will allow with the friend.
• Model good friendships. The example of friendship you provide has a bigger impact on your child’s friendships than any lecture. Children who see their parents treat each other and their friends with kindness and respect have an advantage. Baking cookies for the new neighbor or offering a listening ear for an unhappy friend sends your child a powerful message.

Throughout the school day, children are given assignments.  A chapter to read in history, a math worksheet or a report that is due next week, no matter what needs to get done, organization is one of the most important skills for students to have.  Here are some helpful hints:
 

1. Have your child write down all assignments in his or her agenda book.
2. Give your child self-stick notes and ask him/her to attach them to the books they need to bring home for that day's homework.
3. Help your child divide his or her binder into sections for each subject. Include areas for finished and unfinished homework. Use a filing system at home for saving homework, handouts and tests.
4. Encourage your child to make a “to do” list for the day and cross off assignments as he or she gets them done.
5. Have your child stack his or her books next to the front door before they go to sleep at night.
6. Ask them to tell you what goals they have set for writing a paper or reading a chapter.
7. Set up a study spot in a well lit, quiet place.
8. Stick with a study routine. To do best in school, kids need to study every day. If they don’t have assignments, they can review or do extra reading. Tell them to start with their hardest subjects first because they demand the most energy and motivation.
9. Take short study breaks.

Encourage your child to turn in their homework daily.  At Robert Goddard Middle School, the student receives 50% off their assignment if it is a day late.  Turning in late homework can drop a grade, but it is better to turn it in late than not at all!

It’s not easy to raise a young teen. Many outside influences distract our children and complicate our efforts. But whatever the challenges, we share one aim: to do the best job possible as parents. During the early adolescent years, parents and families can greatly influence the growth and development of their children. We sell our children short if we expect little from them and we sell ourselves short if we believe that we have no influence. The U.S. Department of Education has published many resources for parents as part of the No Child Left Behind initiative. These resources can be found at www.ed.gov or by calling 1-877-433-7827. 

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• Biological changes. The onset of puberty—getting her period or being 4 feet 2 inches tall when your buddy is 5 feet 10 inches—distracts some teens. Distractions make it hard to think about the swim team or the social studies project that is due.
• Emotional concerns. It may take extra effort to concentrate on a science project when she is preoccupied with physical insecurities or concerned about being excluded from a special group.
• The school environment. A young teen may lose motivation after moving from elementary school to a middle school or junior high. The loss of motivation can be fueled by insufficient support in the new school or by an increased workload and expectations to which the student hasn’t yet adjusted.
• Social and peer pressures. A child may be influenced by friends who believe that academic success isn’t “cool,” or that girls aren’t good at math. 
• A shift in how your child views his ability. Younger children tend to believe that the harder you try, the smarter you’ll get. But Dr. Dweck notes that as children move into their early teens, they may begin to believe that ability is fixed and to compare their ability with that of others—the harder you have to try, the less able you must be. This view can dampen motivation. Why try hard if it won’t help you to do well? 
• Lack of opportunities. Some youngsters lack opportunities to take the classes or participate in the activities that they need to spark their enthusiasm. This is most likely with students from disadvantaged families or who are at risk, contributing to perceptions that they are unmotivated. 
• Short attention spans. Some educators report that it’s hard to get students to focus on a long history project when they’re used to TV programs and media presentations that are fast, short and entertaining.
• Undeveloped work ethic. Some unmotivated youngsters may not have learned that school success takes time and effort. Many attractions compete for students’ attention and, according to some research, some students expect school and activities to be consistently exciting. They aren’t aware of the fact that both in school and daily life, they can learn valuable lessons from activities that aren’t always fun and that achievement usually requires real effort. You can encourage and provide opportunities for your child, but ultimately your son is responsible for seeing that his homework gets done and your daughter must be the one to practice the piano.

• Be a good role model. Young teens benefit from seeing their parents putting forth their best effort, completing work and meeting obligations. Parents need to demonstrate that they value learning and hard work.
• Let your child know that sustained effort over time is the key to achievement. Teach him to set high goals and to work hard to achieve them. Help him to see the value of tackling challenges and of finding ways to meet or exceed those challenges.
• Steer your child toward appropriate classes and suitable activities. Young teens need opportunities to excel and be useful. Success can be a powerful motivator and boredom may be a sign that your child hasn’t enough opportunities to develop her talents. She may need an advanced English class, an art class or the chance to volunteer at a homeless shelter.
• Offer support. Insincere praise or praise for poor efforts is no help, but young teens need to be reassured that they can do something. “Sometimes kids will say they are bored, but it’s because they haven’t done [an activity] before,” advises teacher Barbara Braithwaite. Your child may need hints about how to get started with a new project from you, another adult, an instructor or a book.
• Find strengths and build on them. Every child can shine in some area. Identify what your child does best, no matter what it is.
• Communicate with your child’s teachers, counselors or school principal when necessary. A drop in grades is not uncommon when students go from one grade level to another. But if your child’s grade drop is extreme or if it persists for more than one marking period, get in touch with someone at the school. It’s OK to be a strong but respectful advocate for your child. Because middle-grades teachers may have very full schedules, you may need to show persistence. Call, write or e-mail teachers if you think that many assignments are inappropriate or if your child is unable to complete them successfully. Take the lead if your child is placed in classes that you think are poor in content or that fail to provide your child with sufficient stimulation.
• Hold realistic expectations. It’s important to hold children to high standards. But when young teens are asked to do the impossible, they may stop trying. Don’t pressure your 5-foot 4-inch son to try out for center on his basketball team just because he played center for his elementary school team. Instead, reassure him that, in time, he’ll grow taller and help him to look for other activities in the meantime. Holding realistic expectations also requires that you consider your child’s personality and temperament. Your 6-foot son may not enjoy playing basketball. Make sure that your child knows, deep in his heart, that you love him for what he is and not for what he does.